16 July 2015

Found fiction

Discovered this whilst procrastinating/in the midst of a meltdown. I have a vague memory of writing it (probably some years ago) when I was supposed to be doing something far more important...

A dinosaur pooed in my shoe.

I know it was a dinosaur because I heard it while I was inside looking for the other shoe. It made a noise just like the velociraptors in Jurassic Park.

It was definitely a velociraptor.

I couldn't wear the shoe. It had poo in it. My mum said you should never touch cat poo in case it gets in your eyes and makes you go blind. I think velociraptor poo is probably a bit like cat poo.

There weren't any pictures of velociraptor poo on the internet. There was one of some brontosaurus poo. I thought maybe I could take some pictures of my shoe, and the poo, and put them on the internet. Just in case dinosaurs were pooing in other people's shoes. Maybe they would want to know whether a brontosaurus or a velociraptor had done it.

252 people liked the picture of the poo in my shoe. Some of them didn't believe a velociraptor had done it. But I told them: “I heard it. It sounded just like the one on Jurassic Park.”

One person asked how I knew it wasn't a unicorn. I don't know about unicorn poos. But it didn't sound like a unicorn.

THE END

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