19 October 2007

If Marc Abrahams can hand out prizes, so can I

I’m awarding prizes. Categories subject to change each month. In October, the categories are:

Most Consistently Preposterous Titles for Journal Articles

The Journal of Consumer Research
-For such pearls as ‘Mood and Comparative Judgement: Does Mood Influence Everything and Finally Nothing?’, ‘Of Chameleons and Consumption: The Impact of Mimicry on Choice and Preferences’ and ‘Time Will Tell: The Distant Appeal of Promotion and Imminent Appeal of Prevention’.

Inappropriate Use of Provocative Language in Science Media

Testosterone turns male juncos into blustery hunks – and bad dads
-What this means: Male birds increase testosterone production to attract mates; sometimes it makes them a bit narky.

Most Completely Incomprehensible Utterance by a Scientist

"The mere fact that now we can have a predictable organic-nanotube hybrid composite, with enhanced properties should open the door for many new applications. The enhancement in the luminescence properties bodes well for a new generation of organic devices that could potentially reach commercially viable figures of merit for large scale production. The work conducted at the ATI will now allow us to investigate ways to modify the active material used for solar cells in order to harvest more of the solar spectrum using hybrid mixtures."
-What this means: I don't know.

Best Pun in a Press Release

No prizes this month - or possibly ever, seeing as how I might elect to change the categories next month - they're all far too lame.

Non-story of the Month

The U.S. hasn’t changed its stance on how much fish women can eat while they’re pregnant.
-Yes, that’s "hasn’t". Right.

Apostrophe Catastrophe

Charlies Angles
-Thanks to Bad Gas.

Best Things Recalled This Month

Minnie’s chocolate chunk cookies
-"Undeclared presence of nuts".

Kahlua Kahlua Brownie and Double Fudge Brownie ice cream
-You think anyone's sending those back?


Image: thanks to Fernando


2 comments:

scary b said...

Embarrassingly enough, I understood all of that 'incomprehensible utterance'. It even seems quite lucid compared to my quantum computation lectures.

Translation:
Because we can mix carbon nanotube structures with plastic things, we can do new stuff. It'll give out more light, which might finally mean we can sell it and get filthy rich. I mean, we could make solar cells that use more of the sun's light. That would be nice, huh? Gimmee patent profits, bitch.

Hayley said...

They should write papers like that.