So I'm browsing the latest issue of Patents and Designs Journal, just for fun, as you do. And I come across a patent application for a 'high speed flip flip'. Wow, I think, what's that? Sounds kinda spacey. Maybe it's a beach shoe with rocket blasters that makes an annoying 'thwack' noise... So I run a quick search on patent application number GB0719451.7 and discover there's no information on it. Hmm, slightly irritating, but I'll live.
Next thing is, on page 5226, someone's trying to patent a 'seagull tidy'. What? Like a desk tidy but for seagulls? Now this I have to see. Sure I won't be disappointed a second time, I feed the number into the patent finding machine. And it spits out... nothing. Again.
Okay, so last try. According to PDJ, Gavin Waxkirsh is planning to patent a bubble-blowing showerhead. Ooh, that sounds like fun. I don't know what possible use it could be - probably about as much use as a high speed flip flop or a seagull tidy - but I want to have a gander at it. So, typing the number in very slowly and carefully (perhaps this will encourage the search engine to look a bit harder) I give it one more shot. Aaaand, zip. Nowt.
On all three occasions I am told, quite abruptly "! Application details not yet published."
What do you mean, "not yet published"? You've just published them in your own sodding journal! You can't allude to a rocket powered flip flop* and then leave us all dangling for three years whilst you make your mind up about it.
So if anyone knows where I might find the details of a patent application and how soon they become available, do tell. I've got a garden full of seagulls I'd like to put in order.
*I have a suspicion this might turn out to be something rather boring to do with electronics, and not, as one would hope, some sort of futuristic sandal.